Earlier this week, I learned that my buddy Dan had died in a tragic car accident in NC. While I deeply mourn his loss, I’m comforted with the knowledge that his lovely wife Rosie (who was in the car with him) survived the accident. We pray every day asking God to give her the strength to get through each day – to overcome the pain from her injuries and the loss of her beloved Dan.
Today is Dan’s funeral. I’m not sure if Dan would have preferred an Irish wake or a Viking style funeral, but today’s event will be much different than either due to COVID. If I were able to be there, I would deliver the following, and I hope Dan would be proud:
Someone once told me that everyone in life is either a coconut or a peach. Coconuts have a hard, outer shell… but once you get through them, they are soft all the way to the middle. These folks are hard be become friends with, but once a friend you get to know everything. Peaches, on the other hand, are very easy to get to know, but sooner or later you hit that inner hard core that you just can’t get open. These people are very outgoing and yet don’t seem to really have many close friends.
To everyone else in the world, Dan was both a coconut and peach. Hard to get to know, and eventually everyone would find the core of that peach and get no further. To me, Dan was barely a coconut. We shared a lot of life experiences and could have deep conversations on topics most people couldn’t share - and became instant best friends.
We now live in an age where society has devolved – where the masses respect and admire Personality. Dan came from a different era, where Character mattered most - where work-ethic and accomplishments counted for everything. Celebrities produce so little and crave the attention. Dan’s previous life couldn’t have been more opposite – do really impossible tasks with no public reward. It takes great character, confidence, and courage to be that person – and Dan did it well! He was well rounded. Maybe one of the last renaissance men in the world. He could engage in conversations on everything from theology to rattling off the bass lines for tunes from the 80’s. He used to go outside to do an “air check” to sneak some cigarettes while Rosie wasn’t looking (like she didn’t know). I used to think it was a bad idea – now I’m glad he did it and got the enjoyment from them. He loved boating, his recent “furry terrorist” Belle, his kids, and he deeply loved his wife Rosie.
Like all friends, we didn’t agree on everything, but we could work through anything. The Thursday before Dan’s accident, we had a couple of emails and calls and just chuckled through all sorts of goofy things as we worked on a problem he was having. How can anyone imagine that any given call, meeting, or hug will be the last one? Though we both had to run, it was a great call – but like the passing of anyone in our lives, there are always more things you wish you had said. So I echo Rosie’s request – hug the one’s you love, say the things you wish/need to say, and hold on to their memories dearly and regularly for the rest of your life – it is the ultimate tribute to Dan and his remarkable life!
So in true Irish fashion – raise your glass to Dan Killeen: “You were a good man, and you’ll be missed by one and all. May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead!!”
-Tom (Dan’s “twin brother from a different mother”), Michelle, Jack, Bryan and Steven Costello
